im not the perfect wife

i was watching this movie entitled "A Love Song" and boy, was i touched by the point of view of the characters in the story. each one played a powerful role in the movie. the plot is pretty simple, married guy with a mistress... but the mistress seems to be playing the role of the wife, when the wife finds out of course she was hurt and begged the mistress to leave her husband alone.it ends like the usual love story, husband goes back to wife...
not in my case though, i tried to make it up to him again, tried to be the perfect wife again, but then again it seems the more we stay together the more we hurt each other. more words that are not supposed to be said are being hurled against each other!its so hard to forgive and forget...hard to forget the fact that he cheated on me and left me for her, hard to forgive the fact that hes willing to leave his family for someone like her. how could anyone leave his family behind, is he human? i want to bask in the glory of love, be astonished at the miracle of what love can do to someone... but it makes me hate the idea of love! to think that its just possible to leave someone who needs and loves you more than anything in the world for another person who you claim to love... what about me then??! am i just not meant to be loved and be happy? part of me screams for revenge and part of me wants to just let go of everything and be happy alone.. its hard to do what the heart tells you to when the mind is thinking too much...
maybe its time i should just let go of all the hurt ive been feeling, throw the thoughts of being betrayed right straight to the ocean, never to return to my poor battered soul...
i've had enough of the nights with tears running down my face, had enough of thinking of the perfect revenge, had enough of hurting each other... i just want to be happy, be free of the pain again.. live my life as if it never happened... will i ever come to that point, because at this time, i am tired and i just want to let go of my hurtful past...

THINGS I JUST LEARNED FROM THE MOVIE:

- a flower is just like a woman, dont pick it when you have an intention of just destroying or playing with it...because there will never be a flower like her again!
- learn to let go of the hurts and the pains thats been boiling inside for so long, in the process you will also protect your love ones from being hurt by you

to all the women who have been betrayed by their husbands, fight for him no matter what, he's yours. but when things just become to ugly to comprehend learn to let go and throw away your hurts... (easy to say, hard to do.... but believe me i am in the process of healing and i can feel how much better it is to live without any hurt or pain digging through your very heart...