Human

i was on the way to work this morning when the city jail service passed by and i saw about 20 or more inmates cramped inside. i honestly think they look like pigs ready to be butchered. sometimes i lose faith in the human rationale. i understand that those people may have done grave crimes but they are still human beings...

just like in my life when people expect me to act the perfect way, i'd like to shout im only human and im allowed to commit mistakes and learn from them. i get hurt that they can do wrong but i cant because im expected to just take it all in and be nice about it and be civil.. im not a machine who doesnt have any feelings, i get hurt, i cry...

when people tell me im strong id like to think so myself but i know im not, and im just not dwelling on things that make me sad... yes ive been through a lot and to be honest im not willing to go through the same hurt and the same pain anymore,im not masochistic so please spare me..

my favorite song

this is such a sad song, i dont want to dwell on sad things but well certain songs just remind me of love lost :(

Here Without You (3 doors down)

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

some great advice

Myspace Quotes Graphics

forgiveness

its hard to forgive someone who has betrayed you a lot, but then when you do you feel happier..i wish that all bad things come to an end soon, im just tired from all the pressures in life, financial security is what i need most at the moment but hey its just temporary, all the things in life are temporary, thats for sure... i just wish the end to my sufferings are near, i think ive learned my lessons well.
today seems to be a day of forgiveness, ihope that god will forgive me too for whatever ive done wrong, and i hope he'll grant me the inner peace i so long for..

bitchy slut that girl

what a day for me, seeing more evidence of his infidelity, you know i try to be as discreet and there he is short of waving that fucking thing in my face, i got so satisfied after cutting that goddamn thing into tiny pieces, especially across those names! who the hell does she think she is, his goddamn wife?! she has no shame at all, to think she goes to church everytime she can and very religious too, shes a hyprocrite if you ask me, shit i'd love to get my hands on her and strangle her. if its not a sin to kill i would have gotten rid of her two years ago.goddamn ugly bitch, she gets my man and expects to keep him, over my dead fucking body, who does she think she is (again!) i sooo hate her and i wish i can show her how much i hate her!dumb fucking whore!

i want out

sometimes when a thought hits me and dont have anything else to think about but that certain thought i wish theres a way i can just forget about everything that has happened and just live a peaceful existence. isnt there a way to just discard those hurting thoughts and live life the way i deserve to live. i try to understand how he feels but i just cant. to be honest, he doesnt understand me at all, sometimes i think hes living in some fantasy world where wives are robots, not allowed to feel and get hurt and just get discarded when hubby is tired of wifey.hell i tried to forget about him, think about other people who love me and care for me, but i just couldnt. maybe im just holding on too much. i want to experience being loved again, and being appreciated for what i can do. im not a bad person i know im not... but he makes me seem im the worst person in the whole world. this relationship is not healthy anymore,i wish someone can show me the way out and just show me what ive been missing. i dont even know why im sticking to this emotionally abusive relationship, god knows how much ive suffered. i know im not the perfect wife, but i just dont deserve this.